November 2014

A year of release. I began this year letting go of a man I loved and simultaneously losing my health. Facing these challenges, my mind and body ached for control of a life that had almost overnight spiraled out of my grasp. Now here I stood in a field near a whispering stream, 11 months later, lighting the wick of my lantern.

It had been a dream of mine to be present in Chiang Mai for their annual Lantern Ceremony. Thousands of souls gathering to Thailand from around the world to float their intentions into the heavens. Holding tightly to the base I feel my lantern billow and ever so slightly pull as it slowly fills up with air–begging to be released into the twinkling night. For me it was a glowing vessel, ready to carry away my deepest emotions across a sea like sky.

I breathe in the warm Thai paradise surrounding me while my mind quietly shuffles through the difficult year that lays behind me like broken glass. Why is it so hard to just let go? Maybe if we didn’t hold on we’d never have to let go. The lantern’s tug increases and I begin to feel that it is almost time to open my palms and let it rise to the stars. What if I fearlessly lived my life with open hands & an open heart?

Letting every experience and person drift in & out of my life like a wave. To be free of expectations. To just be. A year of release. A year of growth. A year of gain.

I do believe everything flows in and out of your life at the perfect time, even if it doesn’t necessary feel like it. Adversity is one of the most profound teachers and can encourage the most monumental shifts. I am so grateful for each bend and bump I have faced on this path for they have brought me to this exact moment of perfection.

Last January I asked the universe to send me a flock of goddesses – women with big dreams, loving hearts & a passion for life. The female friendships that have come frolicking into my world throughout 2014 have been magical. At this very moment I am sitting by a rice field in Ubud, Bali with some of the most lovely companions a girl could ask for. The best friendships are the ones you don’t have to question or grasp tightly to…you never have to ask them to stay.

When I finally released the lantern into the quiet sky it carried away my past pains, doubts & feelings of rejection. I may have begun 2014 with a lot of loss, but the gains have been beyond my wildest imagination.

Although it’s only November… it already feels like the start of a new and glorious year.

All is ahead of me….

Love, light & hugs, Krissy Sunflower